#Neighborhood: Reconciliation and the Gift of Self-Knowledge
Week 4 Practice: The Prayer of Examen
“The Prayer of Examen produces within us the priceless grace of self-knowledge.” - Richard Foster
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
“This path of self-knowledge must never be abandoned, nor is there on the journey a a soul so much a giant that it has no need to return often to the stage of an infant and a suckling.”
“Along this path of prayer, self-knowledge and the thought of one’s sins is the bread with which all palates must be fed no matter how delicate they may be; they cannot be sustained without this bread.”
Getting the Log Out Our Own Eye ….
This past week in my sermon, I spoke about our call as followers of Christ to be reconcilers - to take the hard but beautiful road to working towards restoration with those who have hurt us and with those whom we have hurt. And while there are many aspects to this reconciliation process, one key component of this process is always self-awareness. Unless all parties in a conflict become more self-aware, there is little hope that progress will be made. For when we are in a conflict, it is all to easy to blame the other(s) involved for the situation at hand. And while it is very possibly true that the others involved hold some responsibility for the current conflict, it is also very possibly true that we hold some responsibility, as well. As James says so well, “What is the good of trying to take the sawdust out of the other’s eye, when we have a log in our own?'“. So part of the challenge with reconciling with others is becoming more self-aware so we can know how we participated in the conflict and then can confess our transgressions, ask for forgiveness, make amends, and work towards restoration of relationship.
Yet, so many of us do not really know how to do this. We are out of practice. Despite the fact that our current culture is overly introspective, that introspection tends towards narcissism versus true self-awareness and change. Thus, as followers of Jesus, we must learn to become more self-aware, and the prayer of examen can help us. As Richard Foster says, this practices produces the “priceless grace of self-knowledge”.
So what is the prayer of examen? So you may remember that I briefly introduced this practice a couple of weeks ago when I spoke about attentiveness. Today, I’ll describe it in more depth and give you more concrete ways of practicing it. - Rev Kristen
What is the Examen?
According to Richard Foster, the prayer of examen is a process in which we take intentional time to “prayerfully reflect on the thoughts, feelings, and actions of our days to see how God has been at work among us and how we responded.” In this process, we invite the Lord to search our hearts to the depths.
“Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting” - Psalm 139:23-24
While this may seem like a scary or unwelcome process, we need not fear it. We are invited to both drop our defenses on the one hand and to not beat ourselves up on the other hand.
Rather, we listen with God, the One who loves us more deeply than any other and desires our good. In the process, we are drawn into the loving hands of God, become more aware of His goodness and gifts, come to understand ourselves better, and are given insights into how to more fully love God and neighbor as we continue to live our lives.
Practicing the Examen
While the practice of Examen can be done in any number of ways, these five steps are often included.
1. Become Aware of God’s Presence. Thank him for His love for you.
2. Pray for the Holy Spirit’s grace and insight so that you may see and understand God’s involvement in your life and so you may see your life clearly.
3. Review your day. Recall specific moments and your feelings and responses at the time. Focus your attention on a few moments that stand out to you.
4. Take those moments that stood out you and reflect more deeply on what you did, said, or thought. What were your desires in the moment? Your motivations? In these moments, did you feel close to God or further away from Him?
5). Respond to what God has shown you, either with thanksgiving or confession. Rest in God’s love for you and ask him to show you how you may better love God and neighbor in the coming days. Ask for his grace and power to do so.
Audio and Video Resources for the Examen
When you are first learning the Examen, it can help if someone guides you through it, so here are some audio and video resources for you to consider. Also look in the future for Mission Cincinnati’s video examen.
“Pray As You Go” Examen - Various Versions for Adults, Children, and Families (plus other prayer resources as well)
“God in All things”: Examen - Various Version (Morning, Evening, Prayer, Seeking Grace, Families, etc.)
Fuller Seminary Examen - Audio and Video Examen
Getting Started This Week and Beyond
Check out the resources above and try some of them out. Also just try the 5 Steps I listed above on your own. See what resonates with you the most and choose the same time each day to practice the examen this week.
Going forward, find a rhythm of examen that works for you - perhaps daily or once a week.. Then consider doing a special examen at other times of the year - perhaps once a month, after a season of life wraps up, or once a year.