8 Practices for Redemptive Social Media Engagement
In 1964, Canadian Marshall McLuhan coined the now famous phrase “the medium is the message.”
So when it comes to conversations on social media, it is worthwhile to consider with McLuhan, whether the MEDIUM of a digitized, pithy, and interpersonally anonymous social media platform even makes it POSSIBLE for us to have civil, constructive, and transformational conversations about important issues. Psychology demonstrates (and our experience proves) that people jump more quickly from ideological disagreement to character attacks when they are commenting on a thread of text instead of interacting face-to-face. Thus, the argument that it is more productive to just abandon attempts at serious conversation on these platforms has merit.
That said, 2.7 billion people currently use Facebook globally, with 223 million American users as of 2020. So, the Christian, called by Jesus to “make disciples of all nations,” has to recognize that the nations are gathered on Facebook. The question then becomes for followers of Jesus, “how can we ENGAGE with people on this platform REDEMPTIVELY? In a way that both showcases the heart and character of God and witnesses to the Gospel?”
Additionally, in a culture that shapes us towards self-expression and self-actualization, what might we learn about the way of Jesus by seeking and attempting to enact practices that help us engage social-media in a self-controlled and benevolently other-oriented way? Could intentional practices of social media engagement actually shape us more as disciples of Jesus in an increasingly digitized world?
Over the last 5 years, as national political polarization and generational divides on public policy stances have sharply increased, I have made an intentional effort to examine my own habits of social media usage, the habits of other followers of Jesus, and discern as best I can what MIGHT be SOME helpful practices to put in play that could yield more faithful and constructive engagement on social media. I have come up with 8 PRACTICES that I have observed yield better conversations when used. This list is by no means exhaustive and I’d love to hear practices of your own in response. I have found this set to help. They are practices I attempt, however imperfectly, to use in all of my online engagement, and thus I would commend them to you for consideration as well!
1) Pray First – One of our challenges. living as we do in a world with a 24/7 news cycle in which we are constantly told that “silence is violence,” is that those of us who desire to be proactive and public witnesses for the Gospel, feel a constant pressure to immediately have a response to every local and national news headline. We are pressured to post before we even truly know what we think, or what indeed might really be helpful to SAY. Immediate reactions are almost always more emotionally charged than reflective responses that emerge out of space and thought. And for the Christian, prayer is a great place to start. If we feel there is something that needs to be said, or even something we need to process, bringing it before God and asking Him to show us what is true, both in terms of facts as well as in our feelings about the facts, is a great way to begin to move toward helpful engaging those facts with others. It also could be worth praying for those who will interact with what you say, even those who will disagree with you, and especially those who may unjustly attack you for your words. The practice of bringing our thoughts and these people before the Lord can help us take the conversation SERIOUSLY but not PERSONALLY, so that we will be freed to treat those who engage negatively with us with great grace instead of personal defensiveness.
2) Humanize Your Conversation Partners – Before you respond to what someone has posted or commented on your post, consider this, “Am I able to see this person as an image-bearer of God, held in existence right now by the loving care of the same God who made me? As a person just as much beloved by God and worthy of dignity as I am?” A truly Christian worldview takes seriously the truth that all people are made in the image of God. We are fellow image-bearers, not monsters. As much as our sin, pride, and ignorance may dirty up that image in us. It is worth us putting in the work to humanize our brothers and sisters in this way before we respond. This will help keep our engagement constructive (even when deeply critical) and loving (even through sharp and necessary disagreement) instead of becoming destructive and inflammatory.
3) Assume the Best of Others’ Intentions – In a fantastic interview with Russell Brand, Brené Brown shared psychological research that, “even if everyone is NOT trying their best right now, simply BELIEVING that they are, will lead you to live a more enjoyable life.” A lot of people get on social media to intentionally stoke negative fires. Because we’ve all run across these people more often than we’d like, the temptation is to quickly assume that anyone who disagrees with us, no matter how thoughtfully, must be out to get us, or is a part of the evil mob who alone has caused all of the world’s problems. How might it change public discussion spaces if Christians refused to buy into this temptation? If we made an intentional, and indeed sacrificial decision for the sake of Christ, to believe that everyone out there—not matter how much we disagree with them—is, at least in their own brain, trying to move the needle towards greater good in the world? This of course doesn’t mean everyone’s right or that we shouldn’t disagree. If we care at all about truth and common good, there are ideas that need to be forcefully resisted. But choosing to believe someone else has good intentions, could dramatically change our tone and posture of interaction for the better. And, according to Brené, this choice will make us happier people when we sign off and get back to the rest of our lives.
4) Bring Relationship Into It – We all know that person: the kid from high school we haven’t talked to in 17 years, who for some reason we’re still Facebook friends with, who comes out of absolute nowhere just to disagree with us about our stance on gun control or the right way to enjoy ice cream with your kids. This scenario is one of the hardest for me to respond well to, because there is a level of humanity that is hard to engage between people who don’t know each other well. Which is why I’ve found it helpful to begin any response to a potentially inflammatory comment with a relational envoy: “Hey (so and so) so good to hear from you! Man its been awhile since we talked! I remember the last time I saw you after high school graduation. I had such a good time talking to you about X. You were always such a thoughtful and encouraging person and I so appreciated that. As to your thoughts on what I shared…” I’ve seen conversations go from confrontational to LIFE-CHANGING by starting a response that way. Such a response takes the emotional charge of the conversation away from the polarizing ideas, and places it firmly in the context of the personal relationship…which we are now attempting to build. The conversation can now be out ideas—less emotionally charged—because we’ve taken THAT energy and put it somewhere else. I’ve been amazed to find that as people start talking in this context of trust (once they realize I’m not going to respond with the same level of rip-your-head-off rage) that we actually agree about more than we disagree with. What began as a random and inflammatory confrontation is now an opportunity to reclaim a friendship.
5) Use the Best Form of the Argument – The last decade has seen the proliferation of memes. Memes, not always, but certainly very often are counter-productive to edifying conversation. Because truth is complex and memes are reductionist. They function like hype men, advancing extremely over-simplified caricatures of positions that allow the poster to feel 100% right about their position, while also feeling justified because (as the meme clearly indicates) everyone who disagrees with me is not only wrong, but an idiot. And this is where, I believe disciples of Jesus are called to do some serious work before we engage. Have you thoughtfully critiqued your own position? From what sources do your beliefs and facts come? What counterarguments would those who disagree with you potentially advance in response? Could you summarize the opposing view to your position in its BEST form, i.e. in such a way that someone who fiercely disagrees with you would listen to your summary, nod their head and say, “Yep. That’s what I believe!” If we can’t answer an honest yes to those questions, we could benefit from doing a bit more work before posting. Because as followers of Jesus, our goal should be winsome, irenic, and compelling articulations of truth. Many important topics are heatedly contested because the complex nature of the reality usually (but importantly not always) leads to situations where both “sides” have some accurate points. Can we distill those? Can we admit the failings and blind spots of our own “camp”? Truly productive conversation can only BEGIN once those who disagree with you feel like you both accurately understand their position and are hearing their objections.
6) Consider Whether You Want to be RIGHT or Want to HELP? – This question calls us to examine our own heart-level motivations for engaging in the first place. Do we just want to be RIGHT? To WIN in a sense over and against all the people who (lamely we think) disagree with us? Or do we want to HELP. To reveal a fuller picture of God’s truth in the world that our partisan or ideological battle lines have obscured? This is so challenging because being right feels so good. And on social media, we don’t even need to be factually correct. We can simply be judged correct by the democracy of likes…which feels equally good. Such a reality calls to mind the Native American proverb, “Do not speak unless you can improve upon the silence.” Does what we have to say truly ADD to the conversation, or just give us the ability to say, “see I was there too!” Silence can be violence when we refuse to take important stands we know we should take before an audience we know we could move, perhaps at our own expense if we were simply to step up. But speaking can also be violent when we speak simply to project our own egos or power as colonizers of thought. I believe that we will never have 100% pure motives this side of eternity, but self-examination in a self-actualizing world can bear measurable fruit in terms of heard voices, changed minds, and inspired hearts in the public square.
7) Seek to SEE not be SEEN – Social media brings the dehumanizing danger of turning ever person into a brand. Social media tells us we can project our influence. Via social media, we have been handed a megaphone through which we can make our voice heard, if we only have the right words, pictures, and networks. But if that is ALL we use social media for, all we believe it to be, just a tool to amplify MY voice, then aren’t we at risk of also dehumanizing others, and reducing them to little more than likes and comments to boost the algorithmic reach of our words? At the same times as social media gives power to speech it also gives power to LISTENING. When in history has a person been able to sign onto a device, and learn what every person in their social sphere thinks about a given topic? Such is the power of social media to SEE and HEAR the voices of OTHERS. If we give ourselves to the practice of listening through social media, then its possible social media could actually make us more humble than proud. This is why its worth potentially not unfriending those who disagree with you politically or ideologically. Those difference people can open us up to hearing and seeing different perspectives. Even if what they have to say is 90% offensive and wrong, what if 10% is true and transforming to our views? They carry the possibility to help us see truth outside our like-minded echo chambers. They can be tutors in the school of difference who can help us SEE, and that is a great gift if we’re willing to receive it.
8) Place Boundaries on Your Use – Social Media feels pervasive to us because we’re on it all the time. Part of the reason we feel compelled to unfriend a difference person, is that they feel as close to us as if they were in our bedroom…because we’re actually reading what they have to say as soon as we wake up, and/or just before we go to bed. But unlike a roommate, child, or spouse, we can turn off social media. WE have the power to guard our gates and determine when we will and will not use it. So place wise boundaries on your use. Take the reigns of your engagement, and thoughtfully and prayerfully plan when you will engage, who you will engage with, and how. I think its possible to see your rhythms of social media use like calendaring meetings. You don’t need to check every five minutes, but you can devote an hour a week (or a day etc) to specifically checking your messages, making posts, and replying. That level of discipline will save your energy to invest in real people around you. It will also specify your focus when you do enter into the digital arena, which I believe will almost always make you more effective and balanced in your engagement.
I hope these practices have been and continue to be helpful to you as you navigate your own redemptive usage of social media! I want to reiterate that I am a pilgrim on the journey too! I have not arrived. Far from it. But I have seen God do some incredible things in my life and the lives of others as I’ve put the above practices in play as consistently as possible. I will also reiterate that this list is by no means exhaustive, so what about you? What practices have you found helpful for redemptive social media engagement? I’d love to hear from you what you think!
By Fr. William Eavenson