#Neighborhood: Loving Neighbor Begins with Being Attentive

Week 2 Practice: Learning Attentiveness

Friends, before you get started today with this week’s spiritual practice of attentiveness, take a moment to quiet your hearts and to be still in God’s presence by enjoying his Creation in this video. Breathe deeply, relax your body, and rest.

Just so many preoccupations, so many distractions ….

I (as in Rev. Kristen) am a recovering achiever. . . . Now, when I say that, I do not mean that I no longer work hard to achieve good things or that I think that achievement is bad in itself - indeed pursuing excellence can be a good thing, however, some time ago, I began to see achievement in a new light.  For you see, back in the day, achievement for me meant being so task-oriented that I often missed the people and opportunities right before my very eyes.   

To make things worse, this natural proclivity of mine was compounded by a fast-paced environment. From high school to college to working in Washington D.C., there was always a line-up of non-stop activities for me to engage.  And believe me, I engaged them.  As a young adult, I remember constantly driving on the Beltway between one activity and another.  Every moment of my day was taken up; I was just so busy. 

Now again, this was not all bad.  Many of the things I engaged in that time of life were extremely worthwhile.  Many of the activities allowed me to engage others in deep and meaningful ways. Also, I recognize that we all have seasons in life where we are extremely busy, and there is not much we can do about it. Still, in looking back, I see that there were ways that I missed out on life.  I missed some of the people and opportunities right before me.  I missed out on time to commune with God. 

Thankfully, many years later, my lifestyle is much more quiet and laid-back.  I have more opportunity to be present to the people before me, the present moment, and God himself.  This is good.

And yet, I have a new challenge:  social media. As is the case for many people, social media draws me into its extended Web and thus instead of reading (truly), walking, being with friends, and doing a myriad of other life-giving activities, I sit before my computer for many hours, skimming articles and people’s posts, and watching numerous videos.  

What is the result?  Well, I have a decreased attention span; I have a thousand voices clamoring for my attention telling me they have the way to happiness, security, and satisfaction; and once again, I miss some of the people and opportunities before me as immerse myself in the online world.  Moreover, once again, I waste time that could be spent with God. Even in this time of Covid-19 isolation, I use up so much time that could otherwise be used to bless others or could be spent with God. Sigh ….. Friends, can you relate to my struggles?

Friends, What are the things that distract your attention?

What are the things that preoccupy your thoughts and time in an unhelpful way?

What are the thousands of voices clamoring for your attention, telling you that they have the way to life, happiness, and security?

What are the things that keep you from being present to God, the people in front of you, and the present moment? What keeps you from truly hearing and seeing?

The Way out of Preoccupation and Distraction: Practicing Attentiveness

So how do we practice attentiveness?

Well, there is much to say about this, but here is a start:

First, we slow down and linger. If we are rushing from this place to that place, we cannot be attentive to just about anything. Thus, we must learn to linger in our moments a little more, opening our eyes and ears and hearts, asking ourselves, what do we observe? What do we see or hear? If we walk into a coffee shop, do we notice who is working there, what their names are, what they look like? Do we notice what the coffee shop looks like or who else is there with us? Attentiveness means slowing down and paying attention to the details, not just the broad brush strokes. In doing this, we may notice something we have missed before, something that brings us life and joy and even hope. In doing this, we may find little ways to bless the those around us.

Second, we unplug when we are with people. If we are constantly on our computers, checking our phones, or listening to music or watching t.v. when in the presence of others (in person or virtually), we cannot truly be attentive to them. Thus, we must learn to unplug. There are times for us to engage all these other things and there will be some times where we need multitask, but to be truly present to a person - to listen to them, to see them, to notice the details, we must disengage from all our technological distractions (and other distractions, as well) and just truly be with the person.

Third, we find times of solitude or quiet time with the Lord. Every day, even if it is just for 5-10 minutes day, it is good to be alone with the Lord. Then, once a week, it is good to have some more extended time with the Lord. And when I say quiet time, I don’t mean in the typical evangelical sense where we reflect on Scripture, as important as that is. I mean truly being quiet before the Lord and resting deeply in his goodness. We can do this by listening to wordless music, being out in nature, taking a walk, taking a bath, resting on the couch, and in many more ways. The key to this practice is knowing that God is present and good, and simply resting in God just as a small child might comfortably and securely rest in the arms of their mom and dad. These times with God will refresh our souls and begin to give us space to hear his voice. As Leighton Ford says,

Often in the morning I will sit in a favorite chair in my study with a cup of coffee, with classical music playing, not trying to form a prayer with words, but waiting and listening, until perhaps I sense the Spirit bringing to the surface a word from God. Then I offer just a simple ‘Thank you’.

Now, it is very likely that in this quiet time, thoughts and worries will enter into our minds. We need not worry about that, but simply notice them and give them over to God.

Fourth, we practice the examen. While I won’t explain the fuller version of this practice here, I will mention this simple examen. Examen is the process of reviewing our days (and sometimes weeks and years) and noticing where God was present and where we received life; and where we failed God and others, and we were drained of life. While this is a practice which takes us out of the moment into the past, it is an intentional process done at the close of the day (or sometimes at the start) to notice and reflect so that we can be more aware and more intentional with God and others in the coming day.

Fifth, we seek out a spiritual companion or spiritual director. Sometimes, it is hard to make space for ourselves to practice solitude and examen, so a spiritual companion or director, who is good at listening and can help prepare a space of attentiveness for us, could greatly aid in in the process.